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As I sit here looking at my little man three weeks in there are many things that strike me. Firstly of course is how beautiful, innocent and perfect he is. As his little lips quiver in his sleep – no doubt dreaming of boobs, I am overcome with just how wonderful he is and wonder what I ever did without him in my life.

One thing I know is that I was far more efficient. Things that used to take half an hour are now firmly placed in the 1-2 hour time frame. The morning juggle to ensure we are both fed and clean takes up just about the entire morning, depending on Harley’s sleep and feed schedule. I knew from the start that this little man was strong-minded and believe me it is true. If it is feed time he is feeding. If it’s not – don’t even think about trying to wake him up and sneak a top-up in – he will have no bar of it! So, as it should do, my life revolves around squeezing in jobs, errands and my own life in between his needs. I am continuously juggling all sides of myself. Most of the time I am coming out on top with all balls in the air but some days, like balls out Tuesday I just can’t seem to keep them airborne.

Balls out Tuesday was invented by me partly because I had a free day at home with no visitors, jobs or errands – just me and Harley to do as we pleased. And partly because he had a bit of a red bum so I decided he needed nappy-free time. I was healing a cracked nipple (oh the joys of breastfeeding – more on that later) and knew that some topless air-drying would be of benefit. So there we were, Harley butt naked and me boob naked. He started on the bouncy chair. I was well equipped with towels, nappy liners and waterproof change mats in place. He shredded through all of these in a matter on minutes and I set about loading the washing machine. We moved to the couch and bassinet and again I laid out a wee & poo proof contraption. I was sure that I would get a bit longer out of it this time, as he had just ‘been’. Not so. Within another half hour I was loading the machine again. Little did I know Harley was loading as well. I finally had him settled off to sleep when he weed. Being a boy he managed to get his foot and of course woke himself up – most pissed off at being pissed on. He decided a feed was the only thing to compensate for the offence. I was not prepared for the let down and ended covered in milk. I threw my clothes into the next load of washing and burped Harley – he threw up. I conceded that balls out Tuesday was little more than a balls up and put a nappy on that bare little bum.

All in all though I am very lucky. Harley is a completely chilled baby. He sleeps and feeds well, and has enough spark to really let us know if he is unhappy. This is easily settled though and after a few piercing squawks life regains its equilibrium. People comment on how much I am doing, and being able to be out and about so often after only a few short weeks. I can’t take all the credit. I can only do what he lets me, which at the moment is a lot, and I am grateful.

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