My Mac blew up last week. Now this is a big deal, but probably not for the reasons you would imagine. All of my most important information and work is backed up on a separate hard-drive and the ‘guy at the shop’ said he could probably restore most of the desktop information. The reason it is a big deal is the impact it has had on me. No longer did I have my laptop at my fingers. No longer could I boot it up as soon as Harley closed his eyes, and try to get a list of ‘to do’s done or eagerly tap away interesting stories to later turn into blogs. If I wanted to blog, I had to wait until he was in bed for the night and trudge upstairs to work. You know what – at the end of a long day I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Being forced to stop the frenetic pace has been a blessing neatly disguised. As we lay in bed this morning we spent an hour discovering hands. I watched in amazement as he started to use his to explore mine. Tiny fingers crawled over my nails. I massaged the palms of his hands – no longer the tightly balled fists of a newborn. I sat for the longest time with my hand in front of his face and danced my fingers to interested eyes. Watching him discover I realised this is the most important job for him today, and you know what it is for me too.
Rest assured I will still write blogs in my head. I will still practice the writing craft as we explore the world, I will still marvel at my son’s interesting antics, and entertain my own musings of the world – but I probably won’t set aside as much time to write it all down.
As much as I love to write about my growing son, at the moment it is important for me to be present in his growing. So I guess this is goodbye for a little while. I will return, be it sporadically, haphazardly or perhaps even frequently – whatever our busy lives will allow. For now, we are off to explore the world, and I to hold his hand.